Supporting Social-Emotional Learning at Home

Practical Ways to Develop Emotional Intelligence Alongside Academic Learning

Social-emotional learning (SEL) encompasses the skills children need to understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy, establish and maintain relationships, and make responsible decisions. While schools increasingly incorporate SEL into their curricula, parents play a crucial role in developing these vital life skills at home.

Research consistently shows that strong social-emotional skills correlate with:

Improved academic performance
Better classroom behavior
Reduced emotional distress
Positive social behaviors
Greater success in higher education and careers
Improved mental health outcomes

In today’s complex world, emotional intelligence may be just as important as academic intelligence for long-term success and happiness.

Self-Awareness

The ability to recognize one’s emotions, thoughts, and values, and understand how they influence behavior.

Self-Management

The ability to regulate emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in different situations, including stress management, impulse control, and self-motivation.

The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others, including those from diverse backgrounds and cultures.

Relationship Skills

The ability to establish and maintain healthy relationships with diverse individuals and groups.

Responsible Decision-Making

The ability to make constructive choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on ethical standards, safety, and social norms.

Practical Strategies for Parents

For Preschool and Early Elementary Children (Ages 3-8)

Name and Validate Emotions

Use specific emotion words beyond just “happy,” “sad,” or “mad” (introduce terms like frustrated, disappointed, excited, nervous)
Create an “emotion chart” with faces showing different feelings
Validate emotions: “I see you’re feeling frustrated because your tower fell down”
Read books that explore emotions [BOOK AFFILIATE LINK 1]

Teach Calming Strategies

Practice deep breathing techniques (blow up a balloon, smell the flower/blow out the candle)
Create a “calm down corner” with sensory tools and comfort items
Model using phrases like “I need a moment to calm down”

Develop Empathy

Discuss characters’ feelings when reading stories
Ask questions: “How do you think your friend felt when…?”
Point out nonverbal emotional cues in others

Practice Problem-Solving

Help children identify problems: “I see you both want the same toy”
Brainstorm solutions together
Let children try their solutions and evaluate results

For Upper Elementary and Middle School Children (Ages 9-13)

Expand Emotional Vocabulary

Discuss subtle differences between similar emotions (disappointed vs. discouraged)
Use emotion journals to track feelings throughout the day
Connect emotions to body sensations: “When I’m anxious, my stomach feels tight”

Build Self-Regulation Skills

Create personalized strategies for managing strong emotions
Discuss triggers and early warning signs
Practice mindfulness activities together [DOWNLOAD OUR FREE MINDFULNESS ACTIVITIES GUIDE]

Strengthen Perspective-Taking

Analyze conflicts from multiple viewpoints
Practice active listening skills
Discuss current events from different perspectives

Develop Conflict Resolution Skills

Teach “I” statements: “I feel… when… because…”
Role-play difficult conversations
Establish family meeting times to address conflicts

For High School Students (Ages 14-18)

Deepen Self-Awareness

Discuss how values influence decisions
Explore connections between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
Encourage reflection on strengths and growth areas

Foster Stress Management

Help teens identify healthy coping strategies
Discuss the impact of sleep, nutrition, and exercise on emotions
Practice setting boundaries

Build Relationship Skills

Discuss qualities of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
Role-play difficult peer situations
Talk through online communication challenges

Encourage Community Awareness

Volunteer together as a family
Discuss social issues and potential solutions
Support youth-led initiatives

Everyday Opportunities for SEL

Family Meals

Share highs and lows of the day
Practice conversation skills and turn-taking
Discuss family values and traditions

Collaborative Projects

Work together on household tasks or creative projects
Allow children to contribute ideas and solutions
Process successes and challenges afterward

Media Consumption

Discuss character motivations and choices
Analyze how conflicts are resolved
Consider alternative approaches to situations

Games and Play

Board games teach turn-taking, handling disappointment, and strategic thinking
Cooperative games build teamwork [GAME AFFILIATE LINK 2]
Role-playing games develop perspective-taking

Daily Routines

Morning check-ins: “How are you feeling today? What’s your goal?”
After-school reflections: “What went well? What was challenging?”
Bedtime appreciations: “What are you grateful for today?”

Modeling SEL as Parents

Children learn most powerfully through observation. When parents model social-emotional skills, they create powerful learning opportunities:

Name Your Own Emotions

“I’m feeling frustrated right now and need a moment to calm down”
“I’m disappointed about missing this opportunity, but I’m working on accepting it”

Share Your Coping Strategies

“I’m going to take some deep breaths to help me think more clearly”
“I find it helpful to talk through this problem with someone I trust”

Apologize When Needed

“I’m sorry I raised my voice. I was stressed, but that’s not an excuse”
Model making amends and changing behavior

Talk Through Your Decision-Making

Share age-appropriate dilemmas and your thought process
Explain how your values influence your choices

Supporting Children Through Emotional Challenges

Create Emotional Safety

Respond to emotions with acceptance rather than judgment
Avoid phrases like “stop crying” or “you’re fine”
Separate behavior from emotions: “It’s okay to feel angry; it’s not okay to hit”

Use a Coaching Approach

Ask questions rather than immediately solving problems
Help children identify their feelings and needs
Guide them toward their own solutions

Respect Individual Differences

Some children are more emotionally sensitive than others
Different children need different amounts of support
Cultural backgrounds influence emotional expression

When to Seek Additional Support

While all children experience emotional challenges, some signs may indicate a need for additional help:

Persistent changes in mood, behavior, or personality
Withdrawal from previously enjoyed activities
Difficulty functioning in school or social settings
Expressions of hopelessness or worthlessness
Physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches) with no medical cause

Consider consulting with a school counselor, pediatrician, or mental health professional if you observe these signs or if your child’s emotional challenges persist despite your support.

Resources for Parents

Books:

The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson [BOOK AFFILIATE LINK 3]
Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett [BOOK AFFILIATE LINK 4]
Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World by Michele Borba [BOOK AFFILIATE LINK 5]

Websites and Apps:

CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning) [RESOURCE LINK 2]
Greater Good in Education [RESOURCE LINK 3]
GoNoodle (movement and mindfulness activities) [RESOURCE LINK 4]

Final Thoughts

Supporting your child’s social-emotional development is one of the most valuable investments you can make in their future. These skills will serve them not just in school but throughout their lives—in relationships, careers, and their journey toward personal fulfillment.

Remember that social-emotional learning is not a separate subject but rather an ongoing, integrated part of family life. By creating an emotionally intelligent home environment, you provide your child with a foundation for success in all areas of life.

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